Yes, we have no bananas and other gross stories...

Apparently, my entire life, I have been eating bananas the wrong way.

A co-worker was telling me at lunch that she had been informed by a Latin American man that North Americans (you and I) eat bananas incorrectly.

Seriously, I don’t know how we even got on this topic, but it made me wonder what she meant by this. With the peel?

What we do in error is we eat the fruit upside down. The correct way to eat a banana is to peel it on the black end and use the stem as a handle.

Madness! I say. But no, she told me that it's the cat's ass...

I really felt that I wasn’t going to change 40 years of my eating habits for this exaggerated description of Shangri-la.

So, when no one was looking, I turned my banana upside down and gave it a go.

People, I am here to tell you that this is amazing!

It is a comfortable grip, almost ergonomic, and I wonder why this phenomenon has not caught on here.

My life has been made more enjoyable and so can yours.

If it’s good enough for the monkeys, it’s good enough for me!

Don’t judge a patron by his book choice

I decided to leave work today by the side door. As I walked around to the front of the school, I noticed a student with his hood up, standing very close to the building.

He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, oh yes he was....urinating on the school.

Now, I am the type of person who cannot walk by something like this and let it go, so say “You are not doing what I think you are doing, are you?”

He stops, but doesn’t turn around. I was still walking by, just slower, as I notice he is indeed pissing in front of the VP’s window.

I remark, “Stop that right now”, later I was informed by Jerome that guys simply can’t stop on command. Well, this kid did.

I ended with a firm, but simple, “That’s disgusting!”

I am certain I scared the crap (ohmigod, was that next) out of him.

The culprit, a student who mere hours before was in the library asking for SAT books to help him study for his exams, appeared embarrassed and apologetic.

Knowing your librarian knows you pee on walls is punishment enough.

Let’s face it... kids do stupid things. I am just thankful that I have hand sanitizer by my desk.

Who knows what that SAT book will go through before it gets returned.

I think for his next book I will recommend something suitable for a quick read...in the BATHROOM!

And he was never seen in a library ever again...