Diane...I’m calling from the road...

As any good knitter should, one must pass on her knowledge [addiction] to others...if they will let her.

Well I found my knitting student [victim] at work, a lovely newbie (named J) who has been watching me knit for months and has decided to join in the fun.

J has been doing quite well on her scarf, just straight knitting and we both felt that she was ready to learn something new...the purl stitch.

This weekend J is going to a wedding in Regina and since she will be spending copious amounts of time in the car, why not knit, as I know I would if there was no fear of throwing up all over myself (damn car sickness).

So I was making a dishcloth and she felt ready for such a challenge.

I typed up the pattern for her; carefully providing explanation of all the abbreviations (I don’t want to scare my new knitting friend away now, I just found her).I presented it to her at lunch yesterday and gave her a crash course on the purl stitch. She seemed to take to it like a fish to water, but I remember my early knitting days and how once I was alone, with no one to guide me, I would quickly forget the stitch. To make things more complicated J had to learn the seed stitch for the border.

Later that night, I explained to Jerome that I was teaching J and he made the mistake of asking me about it. I went on and on about the stitches and how if this is done incorrectly how there can be a problem, and how to recognize the difference between knits and purls...then I looked at him...and his eyes were glazed over...”You lost me at hello” he quipped.

The next day I am at work, when the phone rings. I pick it up with my usual greeting.....

“Diane...[static in the background] I’m calling from the road...”

It was J...somewhere on the TransCanada Highway...my knitting friend was in trouble. J has fallen down the well and she needed help, wait a minute, does this make me Lassie in this scenerio?

We couldn’t stop laughing but managed to sort through her dilemma ( at least I hope we did).

Way to go J!

You aren’t going to let cellphone roaming fees and bad tower reception get in the way of you learning to knit!

I think I may have her hooked ... [evil grin]. As long as she doesn't call me at 3 in the morning...

Speaking of knitting...

My friend Liana turned forty this week and we had a surprise bday party for her last weekend. I wanted to make her a scarf...a lace scarf for her prezzie.

I have never made a lace scarf before; it’s just like a regular scarf but with holes in it, right? I gave myself three weeks, plenty of time to complete my mission, or so I thought...

Life has a way of getting IN the way of your knitting. Unexpected events happened, both positive and negative, and I was really pushing it to get this damn scarf done on time! Near the end, I was telling myself this is what it must be like to experience child birth! There is a lot of pain now, but once you see the finished product you forget all about the hardship.

It was,without a doubt, the hardest pattern I ever attempted. I kept making errors, pulling out rows and cursing. It was rather humbling and taught me I still have a lot to learn.

Liana’s scarf went everywhere with me:

To the hospital – “What are you knitting?” the nurse asked. “A lace scarf”, I replied. “Oh, I knit my husband a scarf once”, she continued “it took me two years”. “Does he wear it?” I asked. “No”, she stated.”We split up and I never gave it to him.”

Ummm...okay, how do I respond to this?

“Well,” not knowing what to say “At least you get to keep the scarf.”

I knit at work- I knit every day at work, people are used to it by now.

On a movie set- more about this in a later blog

On the bus- Oh yes, I managed to knit without puking. I think it was out of sheer mercy that the good Lord allowed this to happen.

In the end it was worth all the blood (no one died), sweat and tears for such a good friend who appreciated it immensely.

During the evening someone approached me, offering to pay me to make her one of my scarves.

Let’s see, it took about a billion hours, there are the psychiatric bills, shock therapy, not to mention the chronic night sweats; I graciously declined ( thinking “You can’t afford me sucker”).

So I did what any knitter would do, when they receive the ultimate form of flattery , by someone admiring your work so much that they want to throw cash at you to recreate it...

I offered to do it for free.....now who’s the sucker?

And then she twirled...

I know it has been a while blog-lookers, yet these last two weeks have been rather strained. A man dear to me has been in the hospital with heart problems. He is like a second father to me and I have been spending much time there. Things are looking up for his health as he is scheduled to go home tomorrow.

Now,

My favourite Fleetwood Mac song is “Silver Springs”, replacing my original fav “Landslide” which lost its number one ranking due to the Dixie Chicks version. How unfortunate.

I have always loved Stevie Nicks, I remember watching her on TV when I was nine and wanting to be just like her.... minus the cocaine addiction and relationship stuff. To me, she was everything a woman should be; sexy, talented and let’s not forget a snappy dressy. She had her own unique style with confidence to pull it off. I would shut my bedroom door and twirl and twirl (just like Stevie) until I felt nauseous, which would not take long since I could get carsick whenever I rode in the back seat of a car.

So, yesterday I saw Stevie Nicks in concert (with Fleetwood Mac of course). We had possibly two of THE worst seats in the house, as nose bleed as a seat can get, but I didn’t mind. There she was on the jumbo screen. I commented to Jerome how wonderful she looked and he burst my bubble with “Yeah, but what does she look like up close”.

Three weeks ago they were performing in Vancouver and Stevie only did half the show due to illness, but she was in full form last night. She did twirl, in case you were wondering, managed a mere six costume changes throughout the evening and sounded amazing. She still looks super hot for a 60 year old.


The last song they finished with was “Don't Stop”, which Jerome successfully predicted, or so he thought. He wanted to get a jump on the crowd so he asked if we could leave before the end of the song. We were walking toward the exit doors and I asked him if he thought that was it, “Would they come back for another song?” I wondered. We waited as the lights were not turning on....and then it happened.....
Silver Springs.
So...

I just gave him one of my looks, as I often do, turned around and ran back to the nearest entrance. Jerome apologized and was a tad stunned that they ended the show this way.

Well of course they did, Stevie knows it’s my favourite.

May Long Weekend and other stories...

My dear friend, Megan, turned thirty this week and to celebrate our group converged on Jeremy’s family cabin in Kenora. Now, the last time we were in Kenora we hit a deer on the highway, so let’s say I was a tad tense on the trip out. We saw at least a dozen deer by the road, but made it there successfully.

Megan really liked her prezzies, a scarf...


And a cross-stitch of her favourite word.


We danced, canoed, painted rocks, went for walks while some skipped stones or just hung out. On Saturday night we had a camp fire and this huge dog appeared and decided to join the party. I really wanted to take this dog home, as she was gentle, didn’t beg for food and was sort of an ‘old soul’. But she was about 120 lbs and it was obvious she belonged to a neighbour by her healthy appearance.

We dubbed her “Bear” and I was convinced she was an angel sent from heaven which eventually altered her name to “Angel Bear”. She even came back the following day and swam in the water while we canoed, laid in the sun on the deck when we had lunch and bid us farewell as we drove away. Whatever we were doing, wherever we were, she was not far behind.



A real-life Littlest Hobo....I heart her.
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Before I forget to mention

Another recent gift I made was for Dude.


Dude and I went to library school together and now work in the same school division. Not everyone gets prezzies in the inter-office mail run. I appreciate her friendship and the fact that she is just an email away when I need to vent, so thanks Dude for being such a good dude to me.
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Now, back to the weekend...

We arrived home early for a long weekend, a whole day early in fact.

Jerome had this plan that he would get on the horn and order the soil we needed for our garden and flower beds. Now remember, it is late Sunday afternoon, it is a loooong weekend and the next day is a holiday. Somehow the soil-gods were smiling on him because he successfully procured six cubic yards of soil, at a price $60 cheaper than the quotes we received, to be delivered on the holiday Monday.
God Jerome, you’re good.

Then it dawned on us...we don’t have a wheel-barrow!
Jump in the car, stores close within the hour, bring it home and take another hour to put it together...now we were set.

Then it arrived. It didn’t look like that much, it spread over 12 feet squared and for some reason I thought it would be bigger...not that I have ever uttered those words before.


We spent the better part of the day shovelling and raking, bending and lifting, between the cool wind and threats of rain. I lost count of the wheel-barrow fulls we transported throughout the yard. One neighbour filled up the tire on the wheel-barrow (did I mention it was flat?) and another lent us the use of his roto-tiller.

Then the kids appeared with shovels...

Three neighbourhood kids descended, eager to help. More soil ended up in the driveway (parts on the driveway where there was no soil before) than in the target bucket.

I tried to stop them, honestly I tried. I don't know if it was the fatigue, or hunger, but they overcame me and wore me down as they insisted on helping. So, I let them...until one of them quipped "Just how much are you going to pay us for this anyways?" This became the end of their short-lived careers as soil movers. Please note: no children were harmed in the moving of this soil.

By the end of the day it was a lot of work, yet there was a great sense of pride that we had accomplished it. Although some of us like to stop to take pictures while others (aka me) soldiered on...Seriously, I think I surprised Jerome that I could work this hard!


It was a grand day indeed. Until I tried to get out of bed the next morning...

For the love of god...

What has happened to my baby toe? I have no recollection of bumping it over the weekend, but boy does it smart!

Looks like I will be wearing flip-flops to work this week...

yarn-a-holic

I like to buy yarn....lots and lots of yarn.

I have yarn in bags...

Yarn in baskets...

And of course yarn in my dresser drawers...

I buy cheap 3 balls for a $1 yarn and sometimes the finer $10 + a skein. I’m not prejudiced; I am an equal opportunity yarn hoarder.

A recent find was this beautiful hand dyed 100% alpaca yarn that I scored in the clearance section for a mere $2 a skein. How could one pass this up? I bought 6 skeins each, hopefully enough to make 4 scarves, but usually I have no project in mind when I make my yarn purchases. I buy simply for the pleasure to buy.

Someday I plan to create a big pile of yarn in my spare bedroom and just roll around in it like leaves in the fall, but far more colourful.

I am a good dobie though when it comes to my finances. I always pay my credit card off every month and as I made such a transaction this weekend I was compelled, by some force greater than myself, to make a yarn purchase. So I went online...

$100 later....I have a problem. Just when you think you have this thing beat, it rears its ugly head and calls out to me.

Hey...I could be addicted to crack.

As George Carlin once said “Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.”

Yes, we have no bananas and other gross stories...

Apparently, my entire life, I have been eating bananas the wrong way.

A co-worker was telling me at lunch that she had been informed by a Latin American man that North Americans (you and I) eat bananas incorrectly.

Seriously, I don’t know how we even got on this topic, but it made me wonder what she meant by this. With the peel?

What we do in error is we eat the fruit upside down. The correct way to eat a banana is to peel it on the black end and use the stem as a handle.

Madness! I say. But no, she told me that it's the cat's ass...

I really felt that I wasn’t going to change 40 years of my eating habits for this exaggerated description of Shangri-la.

So, when no one was looking, I turned my banana upside down and gave it a go.

People, I am here to tell you that this is amazing!

It is a comfortable grip, almost ergonomic, and I wonder why this phenomenon has not caught on here.

My life has been made more enjoyable and so can yours.

If it’s good enough for the monkeys, it’s good enough for me!

Don’t judge a patron by his book choice

I decided to leave work today by the side door. As I walked around to the front of the school, I noticed a student with his hood up, standing very close to the building.

He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, oh yes he was....urinating on the school.

Now, I am the type of person who cannot walk by something like this and let it go, so say “You are not doing what I think you are doing, are you?”

He stops, but doesn’t turn around. I was still walking by, just slower, as I notice he is indeed pissing in front of the VP’s window.

I remark, “Stop that right now”, later I was informed by Jerome that guys simply can’t stop on command. Well, this kid did.

I ended with a firm, but simple, “That’s disgusting!”

I am certain I scared the crap (ohmigod, was that next) out of him.

The culprit, a student who mere hours before was in the library asking for SAT books to help him study for his exams, appeared embarrassed and apologetic.

Knowing your librarian knows you pee on walls is punishment enough.

Let’s face it... kids do stupid things. I am just thankful that I have hand sanitizer by my desk.

Who knows what that SAT book will go through before it gets returned.

I think for his next book I will recommend something suitable for a quick read...in the BATHROOM!

And he was never seen in a library ever again...

Who's afraid of the big bad plant?

I just returned from my final low maintenance bedding plant class and have learned the following:

- Low maintenance does not mean No maintenance

- Rabbits destroy things

- If you have thousands of dollars, you too can have a professionally landscaped yard

- And, the kicker, when you buy something on a whim and stick it in your yard in the fall, it might be a good idea to write down what you put in the friggin’ ground!!!!!

I am overwhelmed ... by plants. And at this point I am really wondering if anything is going to even get in the ground this year. There’s the stacking stone edging we plan to tackle ourselves, amending the soil ( good thing there wasn’t a test on this in my course) and those rabbits are going to keep me up at night with worry!

Oh, and did I mention the lilac bush? The unknown variety of lilac that we plunked in the ground (it actually made that sound, poor thing) about 12 inches from the edge of a 4 foot bed.

Just imagine it as Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree's little cousin.

The lilac that I discovered grows anywhere from 6 to 10 ft tall and just about as wide.

The aforementioned plant that Jerome and I have had several
‘discussions’regarding.

That lilac?

Baby needs to find a new home.

It might not happen until after midnight,and Jerome is asleep, but it is going to happen.

Cute side story from the garden centre.
I was wondering around trying to find a trellis as Jerome perused the fertilizer. Lately he has this sort of glint in his eye and spring in his step whenever we do anything garden related. As he read the various labels, he couldn’t help but notice two young men ( gawd, I feel old just saying that) standing beside a pallet of fertilizer in deep conversation.

Imagine the Canadian, younger version of Cheech and Chong

“ Wow, we’re gonna be here all day” the first stoner said, “there’s too many kinds”.

“Yeah”, the second (more paranoid) one replied. “And the worst part is we can’t even ask someone”.



And I think I will end with this...

Fine, but why is the doll going?